He's bright green, weighs in somewhere around 25 stone and according to my research (ie, what Wikipedia says) once smashed an asteroid twice the size of Earth with a single punch.

I, on the other hand, am pale, have recently dropped to less than eight and a half stones on the scales and once hurt my fist on a children's punchbag.

But there it was.

Internet quizzes are the modern-day horoscopes, so they say. They hold up a mirror of our superstitions to show us who we really are. I think I heard that on Richard and Judy so you can chalk it up as Fact.

And so... if I was a superhero I'd be The Incredible Hulk.

I'll level with you, I wasn't happy.

I mean giving asteroids the old heave-ho is an impressive party piece but it's nothing Superman couldn't do – and in his spare time he writes front page leads for The Daily Planet and keeps Lois Lane smiling.

But the Hulk? A radiation experiment gone wrong?

"Contorted by inner darkness, self loathing and endowed with great strength," I sighed.

"Two out of three isn't bad, I suppose," he said and we left it there.

Internet quizzes.

It won't stop me doing the next one I get spammed, of course. There's nothing better to do at work, is there?

In the last few months I've found out if I was a Beatle I'd be George and if I was a Beano character I'd be Roger The Dodger.

Bizarre. But then the whole of the internet is a bit like the past or a foreign country. People do things differently there. Personalities become exaggerated.

You hear stories of social butterflies turning into recluses in their quest to reply to every face-space message.

Or men who like the occasional punt suddenly becoming gambling addicts when they realise the next bet is only a click away. Or other men – and this seems to be a German thing – arranging to meet so they can share each other's livers over a bottle of claret.

I knew one journalist who got a real job on a fictional paper in a virtual internet world.

That means he spent his days as a make-believe character finding make-believe stories which happened to make-believe people for a make-believe paper – but got paid real money.

Not everyone makes a profit from the web, though.

Employers are, by all accounts, losing millions of pounds each year because workers are using their work stations to book holidays, buy CDs and keep in touch with friends.

Trade unions say as long as it's used in moderation it keeps workers motivated and happier at work. I'm not so sure.

Being compared to The Hulk was pretty annoying, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

colin.drury@halifaxcourier.co.uk