How is that? How can it be?

Some people are into other people with similar anatomical features. That's all, surely?

How can the Church of England or elements of the (soon to be elected) Conservative Party or any other idiot find it a big deal? The ancient Greeks and half the kings of England never did.

The old homophobic sensibility has been poked the last couple of weeks by that seemingly most innocuous but often most controversial of sticks – the pop song.

As lesbianism goes, Kate Perry's chart-topping I Kissed A Girl is more experimental than voyeuristic. That is, rather than, say, publicly charting the pleasures and pitfalls of a same-sex relationship, it simply tells the story of a girl kissing another girl before going back to her boyfriend.

It's less Nelson's Wine Bar, more "Kiss Me, Hardy".

Yet despite this, the forces of conservatism – led by Kate's own Christian preacher parents – have lined up to brand the song, in her mother's words "shameful and disgusting".

Shameful? Well, yeah. Shameful that such a turnip of a tune can float to the top of the toilet that is the British charts.

And disgusting, too, perhaps if one believes art should have any morality other than being good or bad, in how it suggests homosexuality is a personality trait that can be turned on or off at will.

But that's not exactly what these people mean.

No, what they're worried about is the song turning women across the world into lesbians.

Seriously. Their argument presumably runs that upon hearing Kate's musings on the subject (sample lyric: "Us girls, we are so magical, soft skin, red lips, so kissable") all women, no matter what their previous orientation, will be unable to resist the temptations of their own sex, and abandon men – and the washing up – forever.

Lock up your daughters, it seems, there's a faux-experimentalist on the radio.

It's difficult to argue with (non) logic like that, although here's a tip for any dads in Calderdale worried that a pop song is about to turn their daughters on to girl-on-girl action: it doesn't matter what you say or what they listen to, it's pretty much a guarantee by the time most girls leave their teens they'll not only have made out with another girl, they'll also have done it in front of a whole bunch of teenage boys.

What would the Greeks have made of it all? Probably not much. They weren't big pop music fans.