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My nightmare vision of Calderdale in 2010
Rose Grove Mytholmroyd IN view of the ongoing saga of the wheelie bins and waste collections, could I suggest the following excerpts from the Courier for July 22 2010.
We are sorry to announce the deaths of Mr and Mrs S.H. Ambles, two more victims of the bubonic plague which is sweeping through Calderdale. One of the three neighbours left in their street said that Mr S. H. Ambles had complained to the council about the rats that had been breeding in his uncollected waste of six months.
A council spokesperson said it was all Mr S.H. Ambles' fault because even though he phoned up to complain daily for three months, he failed to continue phoning for the next three months.
Another neighbour said Mr S.H. Ambles could no longer afford the 0845 number he was given in order to complain.
In a further incident in a nearby street, Mr R. E. Fuse had unfortunately lit a cigarette by his food bin (which hadn't been collected for six months).
The methane from the bin caused the explosion which resulted in his untimely death as well as shattering the windows in the surrounding houses.
Not that this mattered as all the owners had succumbed to the plague.
P. Jordan
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Saturday 11 February 2012
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