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Card for every occasion...
I have a friend who has a card for everything.
If you have the sniffles you get a card. Any good news prompts another. And there are copious thank-you notes. Feeling a bit blue? You guessed it, another card.
We all love her – but it's got to the point where I'm almost convinced she's single-handedly keeping the whole greetings card industry afloat.
And they don't need any help. Let's face it, they can spot a money-making opportunity from 40 paces.
So they should be rubbing their hands with glee at the moment.
It seems that all is not sunshine and light in the romance stakes.
In fact, summer seems to bring out the worst in us.
New research shows couples are more likely to break up now than at any other time of the year.
There are two main scenarios. The first is that you spend all those months longing for your holidays and time together – and then find out you can't stand each other.
The second? That you actually have time to think and the confidence to make life-changing decisions.
Still it's keeping some boffins in Manchester in a job. They say we are normally so shattered we don't bother about life's little niggles. But when you get time off... It's a dangerous thing, this thinking lark.
So much for summer lovin'.
Still, it's an ill wind and all that – and a card company has decided to cash in. As well as the run-of-the-mill stuff, it produces happy divorce and singleton cards. But now there's a new kid on the block, the You Are Dumped card.
It shows a young man being thrown into a dustbin and has a number of tick boxes inside listing the reasons why.
Gone are the days of the Dear John letter or, even worse, a face-to-face confrontation. Technology has seen to that.
Oscar winner Daniel Day-Lewis dumped French lover Isabelle Adjani by fax while she was carrying his baby. He was only following a time-honoured tradition – other fax fans include Phil Collins and Sylvester Stallone.
And now we have text dumping. It seems to be the latest craze, particularly in la-la land. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. First there was an argument with lover John Mayer, then there was the dreaded text. She doesn't have the best luck, does she? Well apart from her millions, career, looks, hair...
I felt even sorrier for Britney's ex, would-be rapper Kevin Federline. He got a text to say she was divorcing him. The trouble is, he was being filmed as he received it. Now there is footage of his face crumpling all over the internet. Dumping is one thing, but public humiliation – well that's a bit much, even for me.
Some things – and I can't believe I'm saying this – are best kept private.
It makes sending a card look a little old fashioned, doesn't it? Almost considerate, in fact. Just don't tell my friend. She might not be able to resist.
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Weather for Halifax
Saturday 11 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: -2 C to 0 C
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Wind direction: South west
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