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Just think about it...
HERE'S a thought, though, right? Fair play to Douglas Hogg for getting his moat cleaned out on expenses.
Fair play to Margaret Moran for getting her partner's dry rot fixed. Fair play to Michael Spicer for cleaning his chandeliers.
If the rules allowed that – and the rules did allow that – why not exploit them for every last ha'penny?
Morality is all well and good but it don't get you a plasma TV, does it? You can't watch the Ashes on a concept of fair play.
Life's not fair so why should you be? Loopholes are there to be jumped through.
You get exploited every day of your working life so why not exploit a little back?
It's all about give and take. No one ever gives so you might as well take.
Let he who has never signed a false expense claim cast the first UKIP vote.
"But do you really believe that," she asked.
And I thought. And no I don't. I don't want to. I just can't stand to stand beside the mob. Or the Telegraph. Or the Question Time hecklers and the tabloid reactionaries.
Cretinous creatures, all.
But defending MPs isn't easy right now.
If the claims for duck homes (did that come with a plasma too?) and hobnobs (could have least made it Dairy Milks) aren't bad enough, the excuses have been nothing short of shambolic.
Honest mistakes? Within the spirit of the law? Needed to keep her partner's house in good shape because having a partner who is settled is important to the work of a female MP?
Being on the take is forgivable but some of those excuses should have been straight sackable offences. Yet here's the thing: MPs aren't paid enough.
They're voted in by you (so I suppose, if this whole episode proves one thing, it's that you're a rubbish judge of character) to represent your interests and monitor your Government. That means, by proxy, they run your country.
That means, in turn, they deserve to be paid more than, say, a head teacher at an average-sized primary school.
That's common sense. If we want talented MPs and not just those from an uber-rich background, there should be a competitive salary.
Except every time MPs discuss possible wage-rises we have the tabloids and the Telegraph and other excitable columnists screaming about pigs in troughs and palms being greased.
So as an MP – your name already half-dirty – what do you do? You take the advice of your fees office and you make up what you deserve on expenses.
Which means that if reform is now inevitable – as it should have been for years anyway – let's start by ensuring our members are paid more than the average BBC News channel non-primetime presenter.
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Saturday 11 February 2012
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