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Peace, love... punch-ups?
IT had to be a scene from a Mel Brooks movie, didn't it? Shots of slapstick and mayhem in the worst possible taste.
All it needed was for some dancing girls clad in nuns' habits to sashay in from stage left, followed by S&M jailers in bondage gear. Or perhaps a custard pie fight.
Except it wasn't a Mel Brooks spoof. It wasn't even a comedy classic. It was the news. And this was real life.
To be fair it was a laugh-out-loud moment. In fact it was the funniest thing I've seen on TV for ages – but then I do have a twisted sense of humour.
Peace, love and brotherhood. They are supposed to be central to Christianity aren't they?
So how did two sets of monks end up knocking seven bells out of each other in what is supposed to be one of the holiest places on earth?
Turn the other cheek? Forget it. It was less about fighting evil and more a case of holy fisticuffs. Batman would have been proud. Rival monks dressed in flowing robes were throwing punches – and anything else they could get their hands on. Decorations went flying, tapestries were toppled and pilgrims were left gasping in disbelief.
So what turned the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the traditional site of Christ's crucifixion, into a different kind of spiritual battleground?
Too much testosterone mixed with the politics of the playground. It's a lethal mixture.
Jesus might well have wept at the sight of his professed followers fighting over territorial rights but apparently it's nothing new.
Six different sects have grudgingly shared control of the church since the aftermath of the crusades and it's fair to say that relations between them have been less than Christian since the 11th century when there was a split between eastern and western factions.
They have rubbed along ungraciously, jealously defending their parts of the site, while playing host to hundreds of thousands of pilgrims and visitors.
The spats are becoming legendary. A wooden ladder has been on a ledge just above the main entrance since the 1800s – because none of them can agree who has the right to take it down.
But sometimes the simmering resentment boils over, and then things get violent. Earlier this year there was a scuffle between Greek Orthodox and Armenian monks. When police arrived they were beaten back by worshippers with palm fronds. Another punch-up – over where to put a chair – left one guy in hospital
This time the Armenians claimed Greeks violated one of their traditional ceremonies by trying to get a monk into a structure said to house Christ's tomb.
Religious fervour is one thing, but to make Christianity a laughing stock on worldwide TV and the internet because of petty jealousies is hardly the best advertisement is it?
Come on guys, practise what you preach. At least give it a try – you never know, it might work.
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Saturday 11 February 2012
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