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The perfect time for tea
I'M starting a campaign for the re-introduction of afternoon tea. Cucumber sandwiches, scones with cream and jam, dainty cakes. That kind of thing.
Ideally, as the old song says, on the stroke of three, everything should stop for tea.
The Americans already think this is a regular practice for us English – along with basket-making, cheese-rolling and well-dressing, no doubt.
In some guide books produced across the Atlantic they describe the kind of traditions and pastimes natives of the home of the brave and the land of the brave can expect to experience on a visit to Blighty.
And the belief is that buttered crumpets are a staple of our diet, along with crustless sandwiches and squares of fruit cake.
What's more, it is not just the hotels and a clutch of tea shops (shops spelled with an extra "p" and an "e" of the ye olde variety no doubt) that serve this afternoon delicacy but all households across the UK.
Oh, our poor deluded cousins. They probably think we all wear tweed, bowler hats and that our trains run on time
But if only the tea myth were true.
What got me – and my tastebuds – titivated was the arrival on my desk of a tasty little book called Afternoon Tea, revealing more than 250 places to enjoy it).
Between its covers are descriptions of culinary miracles such as rose-petal jam (apparently the Mandarin Oriental Hotel at London's Hyde Park is famous for it), Laduree macaroons, clotted cream, honey and sultana bread, lemon Madeira cake, poachers' pasties, raisin and apple scones, Marco Polo jelly, ginger brioche and blackcurrant marmalade and violet mousseline cream.
It all sounds mouth-wateringly fantastic but, of course, afternoon tea does not have to be so decadent.
It could just be a case of a tinned salmon sandwich and a toasted currant tea-cake. Just as long as it is a tradition which is upheld.
Imagine being able to ignore all callers and all calls between three and four because you were waiting for the kettle to boil and just about to tuck into a fat rascal.
There's something very dignified and civilised about afternoon tea – not something you can say of life in general these days.
It's a genteel pre-occupation and one over which matters could be considered carefully, even world decisions made.
Just imagine if Brown, Sarkozy, Obama and the rest of the world's leaders were to get together over a pot of Assam and a plate of maids of honour on a regular basis – how much nicer a place the world would be.
Maybe devotees of the Devon scone and exponents of the Eccles cake should start a petition to get a law passed through Parliament.
The upshot would be that every day we would sit down to delicacies served on doilies. Now I would raise a cup of lapsang souchong or Earl Grey to that.
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Weather for Halifax
Saturday 11 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: -1 C to 0 C
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