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Who are we to judge Britain's oldest mum?
YES we're all quick to judge Elizabeth Adeney who, at 66, is set to become Britain's oldest mum.
After all, she is more the age of a grandmother, isn't she?
Ms Adeney is eight months pregnant after controversially receiving IVF treatment. She is believed to have travelled to the Ukraine for the treatment since clinics in the UK do not provide IVF treatment to women over 50.
And – perhaps not surprisingly – since pictures of her out shopping sporting a very definite mum-to-be bump, hit the newspapers, the comments have been flowing.
And they have not been kind.
I picked up a copy of one national newspaper in a small newsagents in the lovely North Yorkshire market town of Stokesley and as the newsagent handed it across the counter he shook his head with disapproval as he pointed to the front-page story.
"It's ridiculous, she's far too old," he said, obviously waiting for me to pick up the conversation.
I found myself skipping forward in Elizabeth Adeney's life to a point when her child reached the age of my eldest, 21.
She would be 87 then, I thought – if indeed she were still around.
If she didn't live to that age then she would miss out on that wonderful time when her child was ready to leave the nest and build a life of their own, when they were starting out on a career path and when in the not too distant future perhaps, they would be starting a family of their own.
And, if she was still hale and hearty at 87, would she really be up to participating in their life?
But then who am I – who are we – to judge?
The majority would argue that it is against nature to embark on motherhood at such a late stage in life, yet for a number of reasons, pregnancy and motherhood doesn't always come along when we ideally want it to.
And if it doesn't, why should we expect the longing for it to disappear too?
Perhaps Ms Adeney has been too busy with her career (she currently works as a managing director of a firm in Suffolk) to contemplate becoming a mum before.
Friends close to her have described her as leading a sad, solitary life and "being almost alone in the world", apart from the odd aunt or niece in the States.
There are many ways to combat loneliness – charity work, helping out as a volunteer, joining a reading group, taking up a sport.
But Ms Adeney "wanted someone of her own".
She is fortunate in the sense that she obviously has the financial wherewithal to fulfil her ambition because let's face it, IVF does not come cheap as many younger couples, desperate for a baby, will testify.
Some might view Ms Adeney's actions as selfish. But she has made her choice and perhaps the rest of us should respect that.
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Saturday 11 February 2012
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