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Drugs killed my son and drink killed my girl: Grieving mum's torment



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Published Date:
12 January 2009
A GRIEVING mum has shared her heartache with Courier readers after losing her daughter to alcoholism.
Susan Horsfall wanted to make others aware of its far reaching consequences.

Her daughter Joanne, Jo to her family and friends, died this month aged just 31.

Not only has Ms Horsfall lost her daughter, she also had to endure the death of her son, Mark, aged 26, in 2000, from a brain haemorrhage blamed on drug abuse.

Ms Horsfall, 54, of Woodlands Grove, Boothtown, Halifax, lives with her long-term partner Steven Coates, 48, and sons Stuart, 36, and Gareth 22.

"It is unbelievable to lose two children. Everybody can't believe what has happened," said Ms Horsfall.

"I was always there for them through thick and thin.

"Joanne was a fantastic, lovely girl growing up. I was so proud of her and she was very caring."

She noticed a change in Joanne's attitude at the age of 21. And when she learned her daughter had started using drugs Jo left home.

With the help of drugs workers Jo broke the habit, but then sadly succumbed to drink.

She drank up to six bottles of sherry a day as well as cans of alcohol. She lost two homes as a result.

When she died she had been homeless for 18 months, unable or unwilling to get help.

Ms Horsfall used to walk into Halifax town centre to find her and give her food, but when she refused her daughter money for drink, Jo would would turn on her and shout abuse at her in the steet..

"I wanted her home from the day she left. I wanted her to go back to the old Joanne; but she would not get help or stop drinking," said Ms Horsfall. "I made her appointments, but she never turned up for help."

Ms Horsfall said she had learned a lot about the effects of alcoholism and only had praise for staff at the Calderdale Royal Hospital who cared for Jo and for the care shown to herself.

"At first when your child has a drink you do not see it as an illness," she said.

"I saw the change in such a lovely girl and it is so sad. A child brought up lovingly and ends up begging."

Despite the difficulties Ms Horsfall always made sure Jo knew she was there for her – and urged all parents to do the same if they have a child in difficulties.

The final call for help came four weeks ago when she rang asking to be taken to hospital.

"She was so ill she could barely walk. Her body was very swollen and her liver was enormous."

Jo never recovered but in those final weeks mum and daughter were able to turn back the clock.

"We became very close again. Joanne kept saying how sorry she was and asking me to forgive her," said Ms Horsfall.

"I said it did not matter and we were together again as mum and daughter like it should be. Her last words looking at me were 'love you'."

"I wanted so much to help, but the doctors said they have to take that first step themselves."

  • Jo's funeral is at St Bernard's Church, Booth-town, on Thursday at 11.30am.



    • Comment




    The full article contains 558 words and appears in Evening Courier newspaper.
    Page 1 of 2

    • Last Updated: 12 January 2009 10:58 AM
    • Source: Evening Courier
    • Location: Halifax
     
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    1

    Hellfire,

    12/01/2009 10:54:45
    Really Sad!

    There but the grace of God goes any of us.
    2

    Farang,

    12/01/2009 11:07:21
    I hope many people learn from what you have gone through!
    3

    Adrian Dawson,

    Halifax 12/01/2009 11:59:37
    I would like to add my deepest sympathies.

    I would also like to point out that alcohol is a drug (albeit a legal one). This might seem like an obvious statement but when the media and the government consistantly refer to drugs and alcohol, they are giving out the wrong message: implying that alcohol is something seperate because it is a legal drug. Alcohol, in my opinion is the worst drug for many reasons, some of which I will relate here:
    It is legal and encouraged;
    it is addictive;
    it is the cause of violence (compare with illegal drugs such as cannabis or heroin where the user cannot be bothered to cause trouble);
    it is engrained in society's way of life.

    These are just a few points, there are many others.
    4

    ,

    12/01/2009 12:57:59
    Comment Reported Unsuitable By User
    5

    Cadianda,

    turkey 12/01/2009 14:16:58
    I too sympathise with your loss & the strength you are showing to make people aware of the dangers of drugs & alcohol,i went through something similar with my son but fortunately did not loose him he has now got schisophrenia which he has to live with for the rest of his life. My heart goes out to you & your family.
    6

    Vassily Zaitsev,

    12/01/2009 15:17:09
    Very salient points 3. No matter what your social class, booze can be a killer.
    A sad story.
    7

    Vassily Zaitsev,

    12/01/2009 15:18:29
    And for once 4 I agree with the red pen....
    8

    **00**,

    12/01/2009 15:38:47
    i didnt know her personally however she always spoke to me when she saw me and always asked about my daughter ans spoke to her she also used to tell me about her daughters.

    sad ending to a life
    9

    gaildear13,

    12/01/2009 18:32:15
    I knew both Mark & Joanne, my deepest sympathies go out to the family
    10

    ,

    12/01/2009 22:23:53
    Comment Reported Unsuitable By User
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