Off-the-wall antics are what make our nation great.
From shrivelled streakers at mid-winter football matches to those magnificent men in their not-so-flying machines at the annual Flugtag in Leeds, the Brits - especially the English - create moments of pure, unrivalled and unfettered madness and poignancy at which the rest of the world can only watch and marvel.
Susan Boyle taking to the stage for Britain’s Got Talent and taking everyone’s breath away with her astounding vocals, for example.
Dock pudding championships, bog snorkelling, snail racing - they may attempt to take our crown over the water in mainland Europe with their tacky fiestas but we reign supreme on the wacky world stage.
And they can’t hold a candle to our cracking Christmas credentials.
So never mind Little Mix - or even David Cameron’s European shenanigans - we have two phenomenal festive feasts to enjoy courtesy of our armed forces and their wives.
But, as Harry Hill would say: Which is best? There’s only one way to find out. And it’s not to “fight” but instead lay down your arms and let your eyes and ears do the work.
First up we have the very able seamen and women of the aviation department of HMS Ocean with their YouTube sensation - a marine marvel set to Mariah Carey’s version of All I Want for Christmas, which has already enjoyed more than 1.5 million “hits”.
And in contrast, but singing from the same hymnsheet as far as the message of love is concerned, are the Military Wives with their pre-Christmas tear-jerker, Wherever You Are.
So clear off, Merkel and Sarkozy. Until you can match our humour, our emotion, our sense of fun and fair play, we will always stand head and shoulders above you.
Dave may have left us in the cart but while we can still laugh and cry as a nation, we’ll win the day.