Turn on, tune in and grab the kit kats!

Captain Scott should have remembered his malt loaf - so much tastier than 'a pony when the chips are down!
Captain Scott should have remembered his malt loaf - so much tastier than 'a pony when the chips are down!

I OFTEN tune into Desert Island Discs just to see what music people would listen to if stranded in a remote paradise.

Well I’ve thought up the idea for a show where people would be asked to name which food provisions they would take with them if going on a long expedition.

It was sparked after reading that Scott took McVitie’s Digestive biscuits with him on his expedition to the Antarctic, and then on last weekend’s Antiques’ Roadshow an old tin of Rowntree’s Cocoa which had accompanied him on the second trip, ill-fated Terra Nova expedition, also turned up.

If I was heading to uncertain foreign territories (or maybe just decamping to Benidorm for the winter), there’d be certain goodies I would have to smuggle in my suitcase.

KitKats (of the chunky variety) would be a definite, along with lemon and lime marmalade for my toast, real butter (no low fat spreads), Soreen fruit malt loaf, cheese (any variety), Rich Tea biscuits and probably polony.

I interviewed an ex-Pat recently, now living in Spain. He told me how a pal had visited and tried to take out a gala pie (the one with the egg through the middle) as a present but his plans had been thwarted and the succulent pork creation confiscated at the airport.

I have family who emigrated to the States more than four decades ago and when they come to Blighty for a visit they always hide a jar of Bovril in their cases for the return journey. All of which shows how we all need a little taste of home now and again. So if this series suddenly pops up on the BBC, you know you read it here first.