Article made my blue blood boil

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On reading William Marshall’s columnette in his Friday Feeling section, the blue blood immediately started to rise, and, as a consequence, here is one good old patrician insult I had cause to use in the presence of an officer of the law during the course of the last week:

“You blithering idiot! What do you mean ‘why is my servant strapping a 6 year old urchin boy to the end of a 15 foot pole?’ Isn’t it clear?
I have 22 of the finest chimney stacks situated in this country mansion of mine and they are all in the direst need of a good clean out. 
This young ruffian here has a perfectly suitable mop of hair - the like of which you would only find on something living in the filthiest conditions imaginable - and his widowed mother has been given an extra slice of bread and dripping into the bargain. So you see, officer - all quite legal and above board.” 
PS. The name and number of the officer in question has completely slipped my memory.

Vaughan Hodgkiss

Raw Lane

Ilingworth