On reading William Marshall’s columnette in his Friday Feeling section, the blue blood immediately started to rise, and, as a consequence, here is one good old patrician insult I had cause to use in the presence of an officer of the law during the course of the last week:
“You blithering idiot! What do you mean ‘why is my servant strapping a 6 year old urchin boy to the end of a 15 foot pole?’ Isn’t it clear? I have 22 of the finest chimney stacks situated in this country mansion of mine and they are all in the direst need of a good clean out. This young ruffian here has a perfectly suitable mop of hair - the like of which you would only find on something living in the filthiest conditions imaginable - and his widowed mother has been given an extra slice of bread and dripping into the bargain. So you see, officer - all quite legal and above board.” PS. The name and number of the officer in question has completely slipped my memory.