The smile factor

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Raw Lane

Halifax

In Gordon ‘Dour’ Brown, Labour had a boss who didn’t know how to smile. And when he was taught, and tried, it looked like his job depended on it.

Now, in Ed Milliband, Labour have a boss with a ‘life is such a breeze’ kind of smile that sucks you in, spits you out, and leaves you feeling a little less human for the experience.

So, does this constitute a victory for the Labour Party? Or are they clutching at straws? And what lies at the back of this all-consuming smile? Could it be that all Mr Milliband is actually required to do is look profoundly indignant when opposing the most unpopular (but necessary) policies to visit the people of these shores for as long as anyone can remember?

First of all, he finally realises (or was advised to realise) the good sense of admitting that his old boss was wrong on the matter of European Immigration. Does that make him ‘ some kind of bigoted man’ you have to wonder? And then he is handed, not one gilt-edged windfall, but two, in the form of two by-elections to be held in territory where anyone even uttering the word ‘Conservative’, or ‘Liberal’, would be at risk of being shot.

One has to wonder, then, what will be the first big, money wasting idea of his new, ‘New Labour’ mission? Will it be free smiling lessons - provided by experts brought in from foreign lands and housed in the best hotels - given to anyone severely affected by the policies of those bad men in the big seats, Cameron and Clegg?

V Hodgkiss