Man finds love again with the help of Overgate Hospice's support group

Ten years ago, Elland resident Barry Crossland, 82, lost his wife of 46 years, Mary. She passed away after losing her battle with pancreatic cancer at Overgate Hospice.

“It was a difficult time but the care that the patients get is first class. Whenever myself or relatives visited we received a warm welcome. I was provided with a bed when I stayed overnight on two occasions and next morning I received a cooked breakfast.”

After spending over four decades together, Mary’s death left a huge hole in Barry’s life.

“Losing my wife was the worst thing to happen in my life. I was 72 at the time and I thought it would be all down hill until I pegged out.”

Overgate recommended their bereavement support group ‘What Happens Next’. The group provides emotional and psychological support from trained professionals, and peer support.

“I just thought I would give it a whirl. I was quite sceptical at first but it was actually very good. Your life changes dramatically when you lose a loved one, but Overgate made things easier. There’s no magic cure and the group might not be for everyone, but for me being able to talk things through with a professional really helped me.”

Thanks to his strong support network, Barry was able regained his confidence. Barry’s counsellor recommended other groups that Barry could join, allowing him to get out the house and socialise more. Eventually, he signed up to an online dating site and met Judith.

“My thoughts were that I would be happier sharing my life with some lady, going out for meals or walks. I never thought I would fall in love again in my seventies but I was extremely lucky.”

The rest is history. Barry and Judith have been married for four years.

“I’ve been lucky to love two lovely women in my life. It’s different to when you’re young and you’re building a home together and have lots of worries.

“We’re able to enjoy ourselves and spend more time together.”

For more information about Overgate’s bereavement group, please contact their Patient and Family Support Team on 01422 379151.

Can you help Overgate Hospice this February 29?

Overgate Hospice provides invaluable palliative care for our community, making sure our loved ones’ final moments are comfortable, dignified and safe.

This care is given 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

However, as 2020 is a leap year, Overgate will be providing care for 366 days, meaning they need to find an extra £11,600 to cover the additional day’s costs for Saturday February 29.

Staff nurse Val Craven said: “We couldn’t do our job without the support the hospice receives.

“It’s so important that this care is available to people in Calderdale when they need it most and every penny we receive really does make a difference to the people we care for.”

Each hour of care at the Elland hospice costs £483.

“Recently we cared for a gentleman who was only in our care for an hour before he passed away,” added Val. “This might not seem that much but his family were so grateful for the loving care he had been given in that last hour and the care they had received.

“Every minute does make a difference and even the smallest gesture can mean so much. Your donations will help the hospice give every patient the care they need.

“Our Leap Year Appeal makes us think about what we will do with that extra day. We will be making sure that our patients spend the extra day surrounded by loving care,” said Val.

* A justgiving page is running for the appeal. To donate please click here.