The Apprentice 2016: the 18 candidates desperate to impress Lord Alan Sugar

Just kidding.

They’re as obnoxious and full of themselves as ever.

And they’re desperate to go into business with Lord Alan Sugar

Here is 2016’s crop:

Alana Spencer

She says: “I am incredibly hard working, driven, and I’ll stop at nothing to get what I want.”

Age: 24

Lives: Ceredigion, Wales

Occupation: owner of a cake company

Aleksandra King

She says: “Like the Tasmanian devil in the famous cartoon, I will torpedo my way through to the win.”

Age: 38

Lives: London

Occupation: owner of a business consultancy

Courtney Wood

He says: “How would I describe myself in one sentence? I’ll give you one word: awesome.”

Age: 29

Lives: Essex

Occupation: owner of a novelty gift company

Dillon St. Paul

He says: “Sometimes batting the eyelashes can get you a lot in business. Hence, the mascara comes in handy – so they can see those lashes.”

Age: 37

Lives: Dublin, Ireland

Occupation: art director of a fashion magazine

Frances Bishop

She says: “I’m a pocket rocket. I’m quite fiery and live the rule ‘kill them with kindness’.”

Age: 25

Lives: Doncaster

Occupation: owner of a children’s clothing company

Grainne McCoy

She says: “I need guidance and a little bit of mentoring to help me make that first million.”

Age: 31

Lives: Northern Ireland

Occupation: owner of a makeup studio

JD O’Brien

He says: “I won’t suffer fools. I will get upset by other candidates who don’t know their arse from their elbow.”

Age: 37

Lives: London

Occupation: owner of a beachwear company

Jessica Cunningham

She says: “A motto I live by is: there is no competition if you’re already winning.”

Age: 29

Lives: Derbyshire

Occupation: online fashion entrepreneur

Karthik Nagesan

He says: “If I wanted to be like everyone else, I’d have waxed my monobrow.”

Age: 33

Lives: Northamptonshire

Occupation: owner of an IT consultancy

Michelle Niziol

She says: “I work 15 to 17 hours every day. 100 per cent, I’m a workaholic.”

Age: 35

Lives: Oxfordshire

Occupation: owner of a property consultancy

Mukai Noiri

He says: “I feel sorry for Lord Sugar because previous applicants have been weak.” Age: 36

Lives: London

Occupation: digital marketing manager in fashion

Natalie Hughes

She says: “I started at a young age, I’m a hustler, I’ve got the hustler’s ambition.”

Age: 30

Lives: Glasgow

Occupation: owner of a hair and beauty salon

Oliver Nohl-Oser

He says: “Sometimes I feel like James Bond when I’m in my suit.”

Age: 33

Lives: Wiltshire

Occupation: owner of a food distribution business

Paul Sullivan

He says: “I’ll play the team when I need to be part of the team, but I’m here to win; I’m not here to make up the numbers.”

Age: 38

Lives: Chigwell, Essex

Occupation: owner of a marketing agency

Rebecca Jeffery

She says: “People often foolishly mistake my enthusiasm for silliness or positivity for naivety. I’m proof that you can get things done without whinging.”

Age: 31

Lives: Greater Manchester

Occupation: owner of a design and marketing agency

Samuel Boateng

He says: “My creativity, my passion, my charm, and my likeability all roll into one, creating one perfect guy.”

Age: 27

Lives: London

Occupation: sales manager at a major car brand

Sofiane Khelfa

He says: “The best survivors in the world are the people who adapt, and I’m the best at adapting. I’m like a chameleon. I adapt to anything, anywhere, anytime.”

Age: 32

Lives: Essex

Occupation: senior sales executive in technology

Trishna Thakra

She says: “My only tactic is to be myself; this alone will make sure I win.”

Age: 28

Lives: London

Occupation: recruitment agent in IT