AS petrol continued to rocket in price, my better half decided it was time to opt for two wheels.
Sadly, the British motorcycle industry is almost non-existent and he resorted to a relatively cheap 125cc scooter from China.
The bike seems fine - but the instruction manual raised a few laughs. Here are a few examples of “Chinglish” that made us chuckle: “To enjoy a more safe and pleasurable driving, firstly please familiarity with the manual must carry on before driving.”
It goes on to advise: “Drive with great caution in the place with dazzling light or in blind spot” and “on the rear shelf seats no child”.
This is my favourite, however: “When driving down on a cliffy brae, close the accelerograph entirely and use both of the brake system to make the speed lower.”
You know what they’re driving at - but would it really have hurt to have had the manual translated into correct English? And laughable as it is to see their attempts at English in black and white, how many of us could even begin to learn Chinese?
It seems they’re having the last laugh at our expense. While our manufacturing industry is in decline and young people scour the country for work, China surges on and on.
And with petrol prices set to rise again in the summer, who can blame people for taking to two wheels - or even, in the case of the man pictured above, opting for an electric-powered mobility scooter?
I’d really like to see a UK tycoon grasp the nettle - or the handlebar grip - and set up a scooter-manufacturing plant here. More jobs for the young and a two-fingered salute to the greedy oil companies.