Here’s a royal result that money can’t buy

Glum: The Queen after the race
Glum: The Queen after the race

CUCUMBERS have long been the butt of jokes. “What a beautiful day,” says Ken Dodd, “for sticking a cucumber through the vicar’s letterbox and shouting ‘The Martians have landed!’”

But Spanish growers, quite rightly, failed to find it funny when Germany blamed their greengrocery for turning its residents green around the gills.

At times like this I always wonder why, if there is a higher presence controlling the universe and everything in it, that greater being would inflict invisible bugs and bacteria upon other living creatures, to make them ill or cause their death.

When the notion of a god, or gods, was first mooted, there were no microscopes to view and identify these organisms, which act for both good and bad in our lives.

Now we are centuries the wiser, but these invisible monsters can still rise up and put all our lives at risk.