Our little meerkat can’t find his way to Halifax

Compare the meerkat: Meerkat Harborough has one
Compare the meerkat: Meerkat Harborough has one

FURRY little creatures rule in our house, so it has been with eager anticipation that we have been awaiting the arrival of a cute and cuddly meerkat.

You’ve no doubt seen the TV advertisement where an unsuspecting office worker is presented with his meerkat toy, dispatched all the way from Meerkovo.

So, as it was time to renew our house insurance, we decided to check out a few price comparison websites to get a better deal.

It wasn’t hard to find better insurance for less than half the price, with the added bonus being the chance to own a special meerkat toy, to be delivered by Postkat the roving messenger.

But poor old Postkat has a problem. Either his navigation skills are poor (he claims to use the same system as the “Meer” space station) or he’s just having too good a time in the sunnier climates of southern Europe.

Tracking Postkat’s progress can be frustrating – once he got as close as Calais, but yesterday he was sunning himself in Monaco, 879 miles from the UK. His excuse?

“I rub fur with the riches and famous,” he writes in his latest message after a luxury boat trip. “Prince of Arabia keep me late for toy deliver has he not drop me back to port for 3 dayin time.” His grammar’s not the best, either, as you can tell.

It’s all great fun, though, checking every now and again where he is. Or at least, where he says he is.

My belief is that the toy’s actually being stitched up in Taiwan. Or maybe it’s us who are being stitched up instead!

* Halifax bank is back – with new TV advertisements and lots of fresh offers to help customers.

Everyone likes a surprise, says the bank, so it had an idea. Every month it’s giving three savers £100,000 in its new Halifax Savers Prize Draw. More than 1,000 other customers will win smaller prizes.

All you have to do (all, they say!) is hold £5,000 in qualifying savings accounts every month.

Yes, that’s all you have to do. Tell that to poorer pensioners worrying about how to heat their homes this winter. Or to families wondering how to afford new school uniforms, shoes or Christmas presents.

Meanwhile, if you have at least five grand in the bank, you might get £100,000 more. The rich just get richer, it seems.

I’d have more respect for the Halifax if it had offered to pay off a first-time buyer’s mortgage. But it wouldn’t do that, would it?

* Jockeys called off their planned strike, due to take place yesterday, following new rules over the use of the whip.

Racing at Pontefract would have been thrown into chaos if the strike had gone ahead.

It’s rather ironic that they were planning to strike, seeing as that’s what all the fuss was about.

They don’t like the fact that they were being limited to use the whip a maximum number of times, including five times in the final furlong.

Well, tough. Get over it.

The best way to solve the problem would be to take all whips away from every jockey, in every race. Whips are banned. End of.

Then there could be no argument over its use. If the horse wanted to please its rider, it would. Currently, they are beaten to make them run faster.

No doubt the racing lobby will disagree. But by removing all whips, we’d then see just how keen these poor creatures are to be first past the post.